I have been taking some time off social media–and a blogging hiatus–with occasional bouts of words. Partly, it was due to leaving Twitter* and part of it was life.
Using LinkedIn more regularly was not helping as it is imposter syndrome inducing.
LinkedIn can have an air of the used car sales trope: we only show the glossy bit and spray-paint over the rust.**
I am still not quite sure how to be, or engage online again in the post-Twitter era; struggling to find a way back into these visible spaces.
Here is a first attempt in sharing some of life and work from the last 24 months.
The Elevator Pitch
First my elevator pitch: won a CATE award with amazing colleagues from #creativeHE, an Open Education Award with the wonderful directors’ team from the National Teaching Repository, and my first teaching award with my partner in crime Dr Vicki Dale for the ALDESD in collaboration with UNESCO IESALC. So two international and one national award. Couple of publications, and conference workshops.
So this was the elevator pitch.
Now real life.
After a bout of post—COVID which left me in excruciating pain for months e.i.: every move of my body felt as if my muscles were being sliced with glass, and I had no energy literally having to force every single step I took, burning lungs, out of breath more than my asthma vouches for, and angina pectoris symptoms so severe I had to get a cardiology assessment.
Plus the loss of my gran, who was like a parent to me, in the midst of all of this, ripped a hole into my soul and our family. She inspired several of my recent poems (see below).
Not to speak off a year long fight with the local NHS-board, after a cancer scare, about being taken seriously and getting or not getting an organ ripped out of my body, I spare you the symptoms.
These were just some of the mile stones in the last 24 months** spiced with smaller (or bigger) side servings of things like my body deciding on a live re-enactment of an old whiplash injury, triggered by a horrid work situation (and yes cPTSD is a b****!).
Oh yes and of course all the while working, winning awards (see what I did there?), publishing (I link some of the papers below), running projects, teaching, marking etc.
So yes I am exhausted, just deeply, deeply exhausted.
I could not keep up with the showcasing of achievements on LinkedIn and sorely missed my Twitter community who has become a diaspora across several platforms. Nevertheless there was joy, there was support from colleagues, friends, family.
There were radical resting, walks, hikes, swims, good food, amazing views, interesting conversations, inspiring mentoring and coaching (from both sides of that situation), learning, writing, creating.
And now I need to figure out how to pick up again. Pick up “that public face”, or retiring the public face all together.****
What I have learned in the last 24 months: Authenticity is the most valuable currency.
Let’s celebrate one another’s achievements, hold each other up, and recognise that not everything is pink sparkly unicorns, which means allow some space for a good old whinge now and again.
The Chilli Plot
I drop the lid back on the pot.
A satisfying clang cut off the steam.
I pause to listen for gran’s trot.
Afraid of her discovering my scheme.
I turn around a smug smiled face
And freeze in place as does my sass.
You lean against the door with grace,
And notice the traitorous chilli glass.
Understanding dawns in steel blue eyes
Mischief and panic in fast succession.
“How often have you used the spice?”
You sheepishly ask a vital question.
I stare at my feet and can’t remember.
“About five times.” —I am sincere.
Your shoulders slump in mute surrender.
“Me, too.” Your eyes meet mine with fear.
Gran’s face bright red; she wipes off sweat,
And raises her brows at you and me.
We share the stare of maternal threat.
I’m shrugging at you, and you grin at me.
Luck has it that this threat was never fatal.
And ever since, chilli is a table-stable.
More memorial poems are on my blog and I published my first poetry chapbook.
*Yes everyone I know still calls it Twitter so talk about a massive rebranding mishap
**Allow me some narrative freedom here I know this is not everyone, and luckily much of my direct network is not like that, but one cannot escape the general tenant either.
***I am not exaggerating but all the other stuff needs serious chocolate and a good bit of whinging!
****I also learned about masking
Some publications during this time
You can see in these publications, the networks and professional support are invaluable. Learning from and with one another. Collaborating, writing, having coffees, or pizza, or even just a wobbly internet Zoom chat. This is what the real stuff is made off …
Tasler, N., Dale, V. H. M., Breslin, M., Charters, M., Docherty, F. T., Karlsson, P. S., … & Robertson-Kirkland, B. (2023). Risks, reflection, rewards, and resistance: Academic perspectives on creative pedagogies for active learning. Journal of Perspectives in Applied Academic Practice, 11(3).
Ahmad N, Toro-Troconis M, Ibahrine M, Armour R, Tait V, Reedy K, Malevicius R, Dale V, Tasler N, Inzolia Y. CoDesignS Education for Sustainable Development: A Framework for Embedding Education for Sustainable Development in Curriculum Design. Sustainability. 2023; 15(23):16460. https://doi.org/10.3390/su152316460
Nerantzi, C., Gillaspy, E., Sinfield, S., Karatsiori, M., Burns, T., Hunter, A., … & Tasler, N. (2023). Like the sea: Living communityship as a form of participatory leadership within the creativity for learning in HE (# creativeHE) community. Innovations in Education and Teaching International, 1-17.
Beckingham, S., Bullingham, L., Hartley, P., Cuthbert, K., Irving-Bell, D., Wooff, D., … & Withnell, N. (2023). The National Teaching Repository− Sharing effective interventions: Learning from each other so that we can continue to enhance and improve what we do. Educational Developments, 24(2), 5-7.