Don’t jump into the swimming pool

Today I was given a great metaphor that helped me take a necessary step back from stressful situations. So I figured I share with you. Literally everyone I am talking to right now seems to struggle. Things feel difficult, the bad news keep coming uninterrupted, and the long dark nights here in Scotland don’t help.

Communication feels like there is sand in the gears. Wherever we look, people are exhausted, worried, or even scared.

It is near to impossible to not accept others’ responses to stress—like the unwanted presents they are—and integrate them into our own system. Even in the best of times, this is a deliberate effort, a conscious taking of breath and stepping back.

So hopefully the metaphor might help.

I did jump into the pool

The last weeks were super busy, and I immersed myself in an intensive marking period, while managing about 20 to 30 emails and text messages each day dealing with the SoTL advent calendar. Much of it needing some intervention or action on my side. Plus the normal day to day work.

To be able to get through marking, I put myself into hyper-focus. At some point during my life I have learned to put myself intentionally and deliberately into hyper-focus. Which means I can get a significant amount of work done within a short period of time.

If you use work—or overwork—as a coping mechanism, you might empathise with this state of mind.

In this situation I don’t have the inner distance to the work at hand. I am proverbially the lifeguard who jumped into the busy pool and pulls out endangered swimmers left right and centre. Not a good place to be!

Have you ever written (or gotten) an email or message at work, that had foregone politeness or was more terse than you (they) intended? Then you are probably in the pool! Swimming with me.

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Under Water

It also means: being in the pool is basically a dissociative state. So, while productivity and focus on the matter at hand is great, all the other aspects suffer. Because even if it is deliberate, it is not a positive state of mind—like actual flow.

This means I have water in my ears, and my eyes are burning with chlorine, and I cannot actually see all the swimmers because I am in the middle of the fray. This state of mind is not healthy over an extended period of time.

Do you throw yourself into the next challenge, just as you finished one? Have people told you they cannot believe how you are still going? Are you overachiever, perfectionist? You might be in the pool with me.

It also means emotional distance to communication, and events is not always accessible, because to be able to maintain this focus I actually have to be in the water, immerse myself.

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Enter the Lifeguard

Enter the lifeguard to save well-being and exit the pool!

I was asked what the lifeguard would do: The first image that came to mind was throw a life ring. Yes, not jump into the busy pool!

So how would you do this (in real life)? In my current situation: Develop support material and processes.

The image of the life guard helped me shut down my hyper-focus mode. And proverbially move back onto the high chair next to the pool. Because that place is so much calmer than being in the water.

Hm. I am suddenly sitting back on the chair. Looking from distance. Could it be possible to focus on getting all this stuff done without jumping into the pool? I will let you know!

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Now what?

It is relatively easy for me to get into the hyper-focus mode as long as I can arrange my environment the way I need it to be. However, I didn’t have a way back out!

The focus would eventually fizzle. But sometimes to the detriment of my physical health!

Do you know this pattern? Work till you drop, rest, get up, be active till you drop, rest, get up? You might need the life guard to help you out of the pool.

So the advice was not only to create an opening ritual for entering this zone, but to actually have a closing ritual to exit this state of mind. Effectively, instead of jumping into the pool as a reactive action. Deliberately plan a dip if it is necessary and then deliberately put mechanisms in place that help me get back out again.

Small rituals, work well for transitioning in and out of the pool.

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Listen to the Whistle

Listen to the whistle and then get the f*** out of the pool!
—Anonymous Friend

Sage life advice from my friend whom I showed the first draft of this blog.

Remaining question:

What when we do not even know we are in the pool; because we are so used to swimming that we don’t feel the water?